Article for Chris

For My Sweet Brother

Patti Maisner

April 5, 2026
*

To my brother whose hopes and dreams were taken too soon.

I think of you everyday, so in your memory, I wrote this paper on your life.

Fish long, fish hard.

Love, Sis


God grant my brother a peaceful, final rest in the "landing net" of heaven.

~Mt. Scott Funeral Home
*

     In William Wordsworth’s poem, "Ode: Intimations of Immortality from Recollections of Early Childhood" (1804), the opening stanzas explore the idealistic aspirations of youth. For instance, a child may aspire to monumental roles, such as becoming an astronaut or the President of the United States. While adults recognize these ambitions as statistically improbable, they often remain silent, understanding that such youthful idealism eventually gives way to a mature reconciliation with reality. Ultimately, the retrospective appreciation of these early dreams becomes a fundamental element of the transition into adulthood.

     When my brother was about five years old, he boldly and proudly announced that he was going to grow up and fish for a living. Throughout the years, this became his mantra and he thought of nothing else. 

     Sadly, unbeknownst to my brother, his life would be cut short due to our mother's severe physical and emotional abuse that eventually dominated the rest of his life, keeping him from achieving his final hopes and dreams of moving to Mammoth lakes, after retirement, to continue to teach fly fishing.

     Upon hearing of my brother’s suicide, I reflected on our childhood, searching for signs I might have missed—specifically symptoms of depression. I researched medical journals for answers and correlations regarding the abuse he endured. By synthesizing these findings with my brother’s life from infancy to his senior years, I found clear evidence that early childhood abuse fundamentally altered the trajectory of his life.

This is my brother's story.
*

     I was traveling on the train, I was made aware of my brother's untimely death, he had killed himself by hanging on August 26, 2025. I immediately rejected the idea of his death. From 2010, after my mother passed away, I assumed my brother had retired, sold his two homes building another in Mammoth to live out his life teaching fly fishing. I was wrong.

     This launched my research and childhood reflection, looking first at his life from infancy to five years of age.


** The First Year: Building Trust and Security
Kindernestmontessori (n.d.)


** Ages 1 to 3: The Shift Toward Independence 
https://www.uclahealth.org/news/article/family-dynamics-how-relationships-change-after-having-a-baby#:~:text=New%20parent%20transitions,or%20father%2C%E2%80%9D%20she%20adds.
** Ages 3 to 5: Social and Emotional Growth 
https://www.jaiinstituteforparenting.com/the-four-stages-of-parenting-a-journey-of-growth#:~:text=There%20are%20four%20key%20stages,they%20are%20meant%20to%20be.


3 points ^ playpen, grams on may 5th, being locked out.

  • The adult outcome of early childhood abuse: physiological, psychological, cognitive
1. We hypothesized that early childhood physical abuse would prospectively predict adult outcomes in education and economic stability, physical health, mental health, substance use, and criminal behavior. *

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7780955/#:~:text=Controlling%20for%20potential%20confounds%2C%20relative,interventions%20to%20prevent%20child%20abuse
Pediatrics. 2021 Jan 1;147(1):e20200873. doi: 10.1542/peds.2020-0873

2. Aside from the immediate physical injuries children can experience through maltreatment, a child’s reactions to abuse or neglect can have lifelong and even intergenerational impacts. Childhood maltreatment can be linked to later physical, psychological, and behavioral consequences as well as costs to society as a whole. These consequences may be independent of each other, but they also may 
be interrelated. For example, abuse or neglect may stunt physical development of the child’s brain and lead to psychological problems, such as low self-esteem, which could later lead to high-risk behaviors, such as substance use.

https://courts.ca.gov/sites/default/files/courts/default/2024-12/btb25-2b-02.pdf

Key Outcomes of Early Life Abuse (0-5 Years):
Mental Health Issues: High risk of persistent Depression, PTSD, anxiety, low self-esteem, and suicidal ideation.
Physical Health Challenges: Chronic conditions like cardiovascular disease, diabetes, obesity, and lower overall health quality.
Social & Behavioral Problems: Significant difficulties with emotional regulation, attachment, and cultivating healthy relationships.
Developmental & Educational Impact: Increased likelihood of lower academic performance, failing a grade, or requiring special education.
Life Consequences: Higher risks for experiencing homelessness, needing public assistance, or involvement with the criminal justice system. 

These outcomes are largely due to "toxic stress" impacting the brain development of a young child, which can result in emotional numbness, flashblacks, and profound social isolation in later life.


  • How depression presents itself: early childhood, adolescent, teen, early adult, progression past 40 y.o.a.
https://www.google.com/search?q=how+does+depression+from+physical+child+abuse+present+itself+from+infant+to+late+adulthood&oq=how+does+depression+from+physical+child+abuse+present+itself+from+infant+to+late+adulthood&gs_lcrp=EgZjaHJvbWUyBggAEEUYOdIBCjEzNDE2NmowajeoAg-wAgE&client=ms-android-tmus-us-rvc3&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8#lfId=ChxjMe
  • Loss of serotonin & depression
https://www.google.com/search?q=early+childhood+abuse+linked+with+loss+of+seritonun+and+depression&oq=early+childhood+abuse+linked+with+loss+of+seritonun+and+depression&gs_lcrp=EgZjaHJvbWUyBggAEEUYOdIBCTQ2Mjg2ajBqN6gCD7ACAQ&client=ms-android-tmus-us-rvc3&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8#lfId=ChxjMe
  • The outcome of covid 19 in individuals with a history of depression 
https://www.google.com/search?q=does+covid+19+in+older+males+with+a+history+of+child+abuse+and+depression+lead+to+a+higher+risk+of+suicide&client=ms-android-tmus-us-rvc3&hs=30yU&sca_esv=544b1f8ac949eef8&sxsrf=ANbL-n5CsrQRoal1SoDHbTkNWj80keo6pA%3A1775355163265&ei=G8XRaYDwD6TZkPIP3N7B0QE&biw=384&bih=693&oq=does+covid+19+in+older+males+with+a+history+of+child+abuse+and+depression+lead+to+a+higher+risk+of+suicide&gs_lp=EhNtb2JpbGUtZ3dzLXdpei1zZXJwImpkb2VzIGNvdmlkIDE5IGluIG9sZGVyIG1hbGVzIHdpdGggYSBoaXN0b3J5IG9mIGNoaWxkIGFidXNlIGFuZCBkZXByZXNzaW9uIGxlYWQgdG8gYSBoaWdoZXIgcmlzayBvZiBzdWljaWRlSJOeA1CzFljclwNwF3gAkAEDmAGcAaAB5DqqAQUxNS41MbgBA8gBAPgBAZgCAKACAJgDAIgGAZIHAKAHmheyBwC4BwDCBwDIBwCACAA&sclient=mobile-gws-wiz-serp#lfId=ChxjMe
  • Irrational guilt and loss of serotonin & persistence of depression & alcoholism #2
Diagrams
Examples
Age might be everything

References support my points
- Google scholar
  1. https://www.google.com/search?q=physical+abuse+in+early+childhood%2C+substance+abuse%2C+covid+and+adult+suicide&client=ms-android-tmus-us-rvc3&hs=bqI&sca_esv=dba3b81a402183e1&sxsrf=ANbL-n4aZe6JgOtZ4YzYxgVP_eCAo46iIA%3A1775162411775&udm=50&fbs=ADc_l-byipRaccqV0jmfPhi1DgzPkIbk0HG8UBQNbHd4S9AjVkuc0t6t4dDUPoihiWakL0i3GbzeJRd62uA_J7h3u_MMXEa_gDC-WNX2enLllaQyczXyt21GL6TXFXPZJLOag3n5bpjikccRf0ZXx558mPygMbIfdFAZCZXXRagqBY02I__tfC9WmUukly4a9Xu-me5cJvTgvrnAXL1u0pMR9ka2KVATr17RPNnFaW6hRSk7WipwfJM&aep=1&ntc=1&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiGvuOng9CTAxWiJUQIHeWWCe4Q2J8OegQIDxAE&biw=384&bih=693&dpr=2.81&mstk=AUtExfCWi17bqmj6VPLp-_AA3jMTVINAIz_SVuzW3aQePd3ScV7tU1MifpZmXKYE-Lxp58HdKvSESkD1fFHw9Uf_ft2wsRN-oNfa4dOUr5LsE2pkhOQakQ-Y5RXGXXEah4wVgqEU8eVtBId4DynAzzwMQ_rFLJGzrgQSjEWkbxpUGuMaG5NuSc58hw03vHtq-ltpgjP5dNMj_Ec11zCR-S7X5h08vEdtlZvIIqDPayI8OOsqR_5jTYr6vEJqHWNTRmstkDeLl_5xmpg6Sl_6WDvGqWMZtb4ZTyk7U5kfl-KqOw-0_7a3xK0ETV2WEdQ_K2ErjyuinSSwuBXlrg&csuir=1&mtid=MtTOaceME-vLkPIPqca0oQQ
Fictitious guilt
  1. https://www.google.com/search?q=what+mental+ailment+makes+a+person+think+that+a+diagnosed+physical+ailment+is+punishment+for+past+mistakes%3F&client=ms-android-tmus-us-rvc3&hs=TByU&sca_esv=dba3b81a402183e1&sxsrf=ANbL-n74a6ycGLUUD1B6bYepeVsmgu_blQ%3A1775163298803&ei=otfOafrfMJXdkPIP5_Pt4Aw&biw=384&bih=693&oq=what+mental+ailment+makes+a+person+think+that+a+diagnosed+physical+ailment+is+punishment+for+past+mistakes%3F&gs_lp=EhNtb2JpbGUtZ3dzLXdpei1zZXJwImt3aGF0IG1lbnRhbCBhaWxtZW50IG1ha2VzIGEgcGVyc29uIHRoaW5rIHRoYXQgYSBkaWFnbm9zZWQgcGh5c2ljYWwgYWlsbWVudCBpcyBwdW5pc2htZW50IGZvciBwYXN0IG1pc3Rha2VzPzIEEB4YCkiJgAFQrDtYhGxwAXgBkAEAmAGNAaAB_gKqAQMwLjO4AQPIAQD4AQGYAgSgApwDwgIKEAAYsAMY1gQYR8ICBBAhGAqYAwCIBgGQBgiSBwMxLjOgB6kMsgcDMC4zuAeLA8IHBzAuMS4yLjHIBxmACAA&sclient=mobile-gws-wiz-serp#lfId=ChxjMe
3. Etiology of severe, persistent suicidal ideology 
https://www.google.com/search?q=Etiology+of+severe%2C+persistent+suicidal+ideology&client=ms-android-tmus-us-rvc3&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8#lfId=ChxjMe

Chris:
Infant
0 - 10 by 4yrs, 8mths he wouldn't allow grandma corliss to hug him. Pulled away, stiffened up, fearful
12 - 18 drugs, etoh, dropped out, excessive worrying, ex. hypertension 
20s etoh
30s etoh
40s ----> thinks that physical ailments are God's punishment for adolescent mischief 
PSA enzymes ^
50

--- too late for dad's money talk
Immigrant italians

References 

Mother and Newborn: A Deep Early      
     Connection. (2025)
     Kindernestmontessori.org 
     https://www.kindernestmontessori.org
     /mother-and-newborn-a-deep-early
     -connection

Wordsworth, William. (1804). Ode on.
     Intimations of Immortality from Recollections
     of Early Childhood." Poetry. Foundation.
     https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/
     45536/ode-intimations-of-immortality-from-
     recollections-of-early-childhood

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