RIP Chris 9.8.62

Suicide Grief: Coping with a Loved One’s Suicide

The loss of someone you love from suicide can be devastating. But there are ways to navigate the shock, confusion, and despair and begin the healing process.

By Lawrence Robinson and Melinda Smith, M.A.

Dealing with suicide loss

Facing the loss of a loved one is always difficult, but losing someone to suicide can add another level of pain to your grief. The shock and anguish following a suicide can seem overwhelming. As well as mourning your loved one’s passing, you’re likely also wrestling with a host of conflicting emotions and struggling to come to terms with the nature of their death.

You may feel guilty, wishing you’d done more to prevent their suicide, upset at yourself or others for having missed any clues to their intentions, or even angry at your loved one for abandoning you. Many people grieving a suicide start to question the relationship they shared with the person, wondering why it wasn’t enough to keep them alive. Some even experience suicidal thoughts of their own. Compounding all this is the nagging question “Why?”, the replaying of your loved one’s final act over and over in your head, and the constant second guessing of what you could’ve done differently.

At such a devastating time, you may also find yourself having to deal with police questions, media intrusion, and the stigma that suicide can still carry. Suicide may conflict with your culture or religious views, some friends and family may feel too uncomfortable to reach out to you, while others may feel less sympathy for a death that was “self-inflicted”. Denied your usual sources of comfort, you can be left feeling isolated and alone in your grief.

It’s likely you’ll always be left with some unanswered questions about your loved one’s suicide—and the sadness at losing them in such a tragic way will never completely disappear—but there are ways to deal with the pain. As difficult as it may seem at the moment, in time you can learn to come to terms with your loss, resolve your grief, and even gain some level of acceptance in order to move forward with your life.

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Childhood memories

Growing up we would have Mr. Big Burger & 31 Flavors while watching Star Trek.

Chris had a big wheel that he practically lived on. Then he graduated to a stingray bike. As kids we had an abundance of neighborhood friends that we would play with ... Angie, Johnny, Mary, Tony, Chris, Kathy, Jimmy, Haywood, Darla.

If the wind was right, we'd all sit on the lawn & watch the planes flyover our house to land. If not our dad would take us to the airport, put the seat down on the back of the station wagon, & eat popcorn while watching the last of the planes takeoff & land.

As a young child Chris dreamt of fishing for a living. And he did! He owned his own boat & contracted with the Sierra Drifters as a fly fishing guide.

His main job was a transportation driver for the movie studios; working on 119 movie & TV projects. While manning the generation, for on location sets, he'd make fishing ties, sold at Lake Crowley.

My brother achieved financial success & had a stellar work history, adopting our Dad's work ethic. He was known ti help anyone who needed it, on and off work. And made sure our Mom didn't go with out. There wasn't anyone who didn't like him.

He was also my brother's best man at his wedding.