Men Who Were Never Parented

The most common effects of childhood neglect in adulthood include: post-traumatic stress disorder. depression. emotional unavailability.

Sounds about right.

Why would a man avoid intimacy?

Fear of intimacy can also be due to childhood trauma, such as the loss of a parent or abuse. This causes the person to have difficulty trusting others. It could also be because of a personality disorder, such as avoidant personality disorder or schizoid personality disorder.

Signs of Fear of Intimacy

Several signs can indicate that you or someone you know may have a fear of intimacy. Here are some signs to watch out for:

Sabotaging Relationships

Someone with a fear of intimacy may sabotage their relationships with others. Some might avoid maintaining relationships, pull back from conflicts, or hold back from being emotionally close to the other person. Others may react intensely to situations, such as being controlling or overly critical, using guilt on their partner to express hurt, or being clingy.

A History of Short Relationships

Some people might call this being a "serial dater," where, after a few dates, the person seems to lose interest and the relationship ends. But this could also refer to someone having many friends but none who really know them. 

Perfectionism

Perfectionists can find it hard to form intimate relationships. They demand a lot of themselves and sometimes of others. They have extreme concern about how others see them. They may see their partners as holding impossible expectations for the relationship, leading to anger and conflict.

Dealing with Fear of Intimacy

Relationships are not easy, and a fear of intimacy may be more common than you'd expect, as not many people would own up to it. A survey has shown that loneliness may be on the rise, with 42% of people saying that they have felt depressed because they felt alone.

Create a Safe Space

A person who fears intimacy may act in ways that push their partner away. They may shut down or run away. Try not to take it personally. It's sometimes easier for them to behave in ways that are familiar to them. They may need space and time. Try not to react with anger or frustration but be patient and supportive.

Confront your Fears and Emotions

This will feel uncomfortable at first, but it's important to start expressing your feelings and fears. Say what you feel and not what you think you should say. Learning about feeling words can help you express yourself. 

If you're in a relationship with someone who has a fear of intimacy, learn to gently tell your partner what they might be feeling and why you think they're feeling this way. This could help them become more aware of their feelings.